Emine Teyze And The Devil's Machine

(July 2002)

Nihat Akkaraca

This is not a story, this event happened last week in Datca. Upon reading it , a lovely smile may come to your face.

My brother’s wife related this incident to me the day after it happened. It would give me great plesure to share it with you. The word “Teyze,” -meaning aunt- is used after the names of an elder ladies in Turkey. Like “Emine teyze,” Fatma teyze” etc. So in here, I’ll call the main character of this event as “Emine Teyze.” That means “aunt Emine.”
Emine Teyze has been living alone in a house up at the slope of İskele district of Datca for fifteen years. She doesn’t consider herself living alone, as her son and his family live above her on the second floor. She takes care of herself, keeps her house very tidy, and her garden properly tended. She is seventy eight but appears to be younger than her age. During the past year, she has been diagnosed with high blood pressure and takes a daily pill to keep her blood pressure normal.
Two years ago The Social İnsurance Office instigated a new system to prevent the waste fullness of medications. Under the new system when a prescription is written indicating one pill per day for a month, thirty pills are indicated on the prescription and entered into a computer system used by the pharmacies. A patient is not able to get more pills untill the thirty day period ends. İf a patient goes to a doctor on the 25th day of his first prescription order, the doctor will gladly renew the prescription, however it cannot be filled by the pharmacist. He will check his computer and tell the customer to come back five days later, after the first prescription has ended.
Our Emine Teyze being a tidy, well organized women wanted to renew her prescription eralier, until she was confronted by that Satan Machine! Computer! While still having six pills left from her first prescription, she went down to the Hospital, saw her doctor and received a prescription renewal for the next thirty pills. With her prescription in hand, she walked cheerfully to the pharmacist. Upon handing the renewal prescription to the pharmacist, he checked it with the computer, turned to the Emine Teyze and saidleft. I cannnot give you another month’s su, “you have six more pills pply untill you finish them. You must return in six days.”
Emine Teyze’s face reddened. She extenden her open hands toward the computer and said:
“Look, my son, I don’t have any pills with me.” The pharmacist replied.
“Okay, you may not have them on you, but the computer says you have six more pills. You have to go and check out your house because the computer doesn’t lie.”
Emine Teyze slowly walked back up the steep slope to her house feeling discouraged to return home empty handed. On her way home she stopped at her neighbor’s home to see “Fatma Teyze.” Fatma Teyze, age 96, lives alone in a single room. She still cooks, clean and visit her sons. Emine Teyze quickly relayed what had happened at the pharmacy.
After hearing the story, Fatma Teyze said, “One time, I heard something about those machines. They know everything and they never tell a lie. İf you have six more pills in your house, the machine knows it. Now, you must use your head. Tomorrow morning collect all the pills that you have and bring them to me, then you go to the pharmacy. I will keep them here. When you haven’t any pill in your house, the machine will verify this and say that you do not have any pills in your house. Okay?”
Emine Teyze found this to be sound advice, decided to do so next day. She having had her Turkish coffe Fatma Teyze offered her, left for her home. She slept very well that night with her neighbor’s advice…
Next day early in the morning she awakened, had her breakfast and after consuming her daily pill, she look carfully in the pill box. There she got only five pills in it. At nine o’clock she was out of her house to go to pharmacy. On her way she stopped at Fatma teyze’s home, after saying her “Good Morning” she gave the pill box to her neighbor.
She slowly walked down to the same pharmacy and waited her turn. When her turn arrived, she walked to the pharmacist who was sitting in front of that “Satan machine!” Being earlier hours of the morning, the pharmacist himself didn’t arrived yet, but one of the girl who works at the pharmacy has been taking care of the customers.
She took the Emine Teyze’s prescription, entered it in the computer and a little later replied:
“Teyze! You still have five each unused pills.” After hearing what the pharmacist girl said, Emine Teyze murmured by herself: “This devil also counts the pills I consume daily.” Looking directly to the girl’s eyes she said aloud this time:
“Your machine is not telling truth today, it is telling lie. There aren’t any pills on me and there aren’t any pills in my house today, because I took all the pills to my neighbor’s house. Yesterday, your machine was telling the truth, but today it is telling a lie.” The pharmacist tried to explain nthe matter, Emine Teyze didn’t want to listen.
So what could she do? She had to come five days later. Before walking out of the pharmacy, she gazed the liar computer with anger. On the way to her home she talked to so many locals that half of the local population of Datca heard the story same day.. I think I was a little late to hear it. At the third day I have heard. You are the lates ones hearing this. Because I am telling to you now…